Friday, March 15, 2013
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Thursday, March 14, 2013
To Whip Up and Keep His Desire
Image courtesy of www.behance.net
After the network NE launched its new roster of talents , rumor mill was abuzzed with talks of a budding relationship between a newbie personality NB and a person of influence PI. But contrary to what’s being circulated, the rumor, err -- the relationship is nothing new.
Even before the talent launch, one of its personalities NB was already getting its share of controversy. The truth is that even when NB was still in the competition in a reality show RS, he had already caught the attention of PI. PI was said to be so attracted and enamored with NB that he committed to himself to take care of him once he was done with the RS - win or lose.
PI is known to be a generous benefactor to whoever catches his fancy (read: boylets BY). Being in a position of influence, he can easily cast in his project/s whoever he wants, much more if it is a BY he is currently fascinated with. And when it comes to promises made to his BY’s, PI definitely delivers. Proof? Right after NB got out of RS, PI lost no time and immediately cast him in one of his shows. If that is not walking the talk, then what is? Such is PI’s reputation.
His latest conquest, NB is now reaping the fruits of being under his TLC. As long as he “behaves,” NB will never be lacking in projects - just like what the other BY’s before him were.
“Freedom is a package deal – with it comes responsibilities and consequences.” ~ Walter Cronkite
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The Psychological Association of the Philippines: "Being Gay is NOT a disease. It's NOT a disorder."
Image courtesy of www.pap.org.ph
The Psychological Association of the Philippines reaffirms its position against LGBT discrimination.
In response to concerns from the public about a Philippine Star article dated March 11, 2013 entitled “Being Gay” by Tintin Bersola Babao and featuring Dr. Camille Garcia, the Psychological Association of the Philippines (PAP) wishes to reaffirm its position borne from scientific knowledge that being gay is not a disease or disorder. Like other national organizations such as the American Psychological Association, the British Psychological Society, and the Hong Kong Psychological Society, among many others, the PAP recognizes that there is no inherent illness or pathology behind same-gender sexual orientations. In fact, it has been 40 years since homosexuality was taken out in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders.
The PAP enjoins Filipino psychologists to stand by their professional and ethical commitments to affirm the rights and wellbeing of all individuals. Its position paper on Non-Discrimination Based on Sexual Orientation, Gender Identity and Expression reads, “The PAP Code of Ethics (2010) is clear in its stance against discrimination. Filipino psychologists are called upon to recognize the unique worth and inherent dignity of all human beings; and to respect the diversity among persons and peoples. This means that Filipino psychologists should not discriminate against or demean persons based on actual or perceived differences in characteristics including gender identity and sexual orientation.”
It continues, “Lesbians, Gay and Bisexuals and Transgendered individuals confront social pressures to hide, suppress or even attempt to change their identities and expressions as conditions for their social acceptance and enjoyment of rights…. This anti-LGBT prejudice and discrimination tend to be based on a rhetoric of moral condemnation and are fueled by ignorance or unfounded beliefs associating these gender expressions and sexual orientations with psychopathology or maladjustment.”
Says PAP President Dr. Gina Hechanova, "The article presents a view of homosexuality that is clearly misinformed. We wish to invite the public to read more appropriate responses to the same questions posed in the article of Ms. Bersola-Babao. We also encourage media practitioners who wish to get professional psychological advice to see the list of certified psychologists in the PAP website (www.pap.org.ph)."
Source: www.interaksyon.com
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
A Rare Gem
Image courtesy of www. silvahound.bandcamp.com
In many ways, proper parenting continues to be a sticky subject. Raising kids is such a monumental task, requiring skills that have no manual or formal study. It just happens, and you are there to accept
and welcome it. Parenting these days often go by gut and feel. There are many parenting styles that parents adhere to, believing it will work effectively for their children:
Helicopter – Parents constantly interact with and often interfere with their children's lives. They hover like a helicopter.
Authoritative – “You live under my roof, you follow my rules!” Discipline is assertive, yet democratic and with reason. Parent is warm, nurturing, but still strict when necessary.
Permissive - Otherwise called as "lenient." This style is often evidenced by parents who try to be more friend than parent, avoid confrontation and are generally nurturing and communicative.
Authoritarian -Authoritarian parents believe strong, harsh discipline is the key to raising good kids. Research has shown that while children of authoritarian parents often perform well academically but they are more at risk of becoming adults with low self-esteem and poor social skills.
There are even parents who believe that parental authority does not stop when a child is 18, but only with marriage. Some kids fight hard to get out of it..
This has been Obedient Daughter’s OD predicament ever since she can remember. At her matured age, she thinks she would forever be a follower with no mind of her own – unless she does something to reverse it. She thinks she has become passive, and often, OD will rather not discuss her issues with her elders ( indeed, why bother if you are always wrong or ignored?).
At a recent musical event, OD had a role to fill in. Before the show started, OD and her co-stars were already called to sit down on their assigned tables. OD came in looking very sad with eyes that looked puffy from crying. One of the staff asked her why, OD just smiled said she was okay. But when it was another staff who was close to her approached and asked her, OD told her the truth. OD rejected and hated very much the outfit she was made to wear that evening. She had another preference but again, her elder was the one who chose for her and she had to follow – without question.
As usual, the elder does not prize anyone’s opinion but hers -- just hers alone.
Will OD finally come out stronger and unscathed from this ordeal - in this lifetime?
“Never let the hand you hold, hold you down.”
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Poll: Is Tintin Bersola Guilty of the Criticisms for her Gay article?
Image courtesy of www. interaksiyon.com
Parenting advocate Tintin Bersola-Babao's article titled, "Being Gay" had stirred negative and violent reactions from netizens, most notably from the huge gay community. The article which came out yesterday on The Philippine Star was labeled as hypocrite, insensitive, baseless, damaging, homophobic, irresponsible. Getting the heat from all the backlash and flak, Ms. Babao was forced to issue a public apology via twitter to soften the blow to those she may have offended. She also expressed the same apology in behalf of her resource person, psychologist Dr. Camille Garcia, who was similarly bashed for her views.
What could have triggered such uproar? Here is the controversial article in question - printed in its entirety. Please read carefully, and let us know what you think.
Being Gay
In the daily morning show, Good Morning Club, which I co-host daily on TV5, we recently discussed an interesting topic: What should a parent do if the child shows early signs of being gay?
It was a sensitive topic handled with care. My co-hosts Edu Manzano, Amy Perez, Chiqui Roa-Puno and I shared the same view: That gayness is not a plague. That if one of our sons turns out to be gay, we were unanimous in saying that “We shall accept and love our sons just the same, just as much.”
For this article, I sought the expertise of family counselor and Trio Tagapayo of Amy’s Face to Face, noted psychologist Dr. Camille Garcia, who answered the frequently asked questions (FAQs).
What are the early signs? I’ve read that when a two- or three-year-old plays with girl’s toys, that doesn’t necessarily mean he is gay since that is just the “curiosity phase.” Is this true? At what age will the signs of true “gayness” come out?
Dr. Camille: “Others may say that doing something effeminate is already a sign of gayness like playing with female toys, being effeminate in some ways, etc. Remember the child, at this age, does not know the girl-boy gender yet. It’s up to the parents to make the child be aware of his/her gender: 'Ikaw ay babae, siya ay lalaki.’
“True gayness comes out at pubertal stage. (It is when the child desires or has a crush on the same sex.) What is wrong with some parents is encouraging the behavior. It’s like when a parent says, 'Kung ano ang binigay sa amin ng Diyos tatanggapin namin.’
“Remember ang binigay ng Diyos na anak is a girl or boy. A six-year-old can already identify his/her gender. Good parenting structures the right role of a person.
“What creates the reinforcement of the said behavior is when parents allow the thinking (e.g., ‘Sige anak, ok naman na maging bakla ka, tatanggapin ka namin.’)”
Should parents be alarmed and arrest the situation? Or encourage it?
Dr. Camille: “Arrest the situation, ’yun ang tama. But most parents encourage the situation. Tatanggapin agad. Let’s be moral in making the child understand the situation, di ba yun ang dapat. We tell our child, ‘Anak, mali ito.’”
How should the parents address this? Some parents resort to threat and extreme military-style punishment. Some parents go to great lengths to explain to the child the consequences of being gay, so that the child can think, then make a choice.
Dr. Camille: “Threat and punishment encourage the child more to do things wrongly, because you are shutting off the situation. Make sure you discuss with your child openly. ‘Alam mo anak, hindi namin gusto yung ginugusto mo.’
“Explain that he is a boy and therefore, as boys, they grow up as men and their partners are women. ‘Hindi kasi tama ang makasama sa buhay at magpapamilya ay parehas na lalaki. Kung ayaw mo itama ang ginugusto mo, hindi namin matatanggap yun.’
“Things can be discussed fully. At least you have attempted to talk it out with your child, explaining the moral and complex implication of what he likes. Remember you can have effeminate ways, but you never desire men. Yun yung emphasis ng pagtuturo sa bata. After pubertal stage, it’s a different story.”
Why is being gay still considered a shame for conservative families, even now that we are living in modern times that gays are accepted in our society? Gays (both male and female) are contributing well to our society, in different professional fields.
Dr. Camille: “Most families still cannot accept the fact that something went wrong with their parenting. They feel that something is not right — moral issues are always part of the issues, especially to the Christian and close family ties. “Traditions and culture as well are still part of the family structure that greatly influences their views regarding homosexuality.
“Remember, since child rearing and proper parenting are part of one’s holistic disposition, the lifestyle and preference he will choose is considered to be part of what a parent has nurtured and instilled in him.”
Is being gay really a lifestyle choice? Or genetically influenced?
Dr. Camille: “The genetic predisposition is there but if from the start it is corrected, maiaayos. Remember, genetic predisposition. Hindi minana, na at the start bakla siya. Ipinanganak siyang lalaki o babae. Ikaw na magulang ang mag aayos at magtuturo. Thus, the lifestyle and preference become prevalent rather than the genetic factors. This is the most Christian and appropriate explanation I can give.”
I thank Dr. Camille for her expertise and for shedding light on this sensitive topic.
As a mom who has a three-year-old son named Nio, my personal take on the matter is this: Nio, when curious, plays with his big sister’s toys. But we always point it out to him that those are toys for girls, and these are toys for boys. We compare toys so that he will understand.
Before he turned three, he was fully aware and could already distinguish the girls’ toys from the boys’ toys. We realized that playing with his big sister’s toys is his loving way of bonding and playing with his Ate Antonia. When big sister is not around, Nio doesn’t touch the girly toys.
Apart from toys, he chooses what clothes and shoes to wear, and his choices are very masculine. I think the presence of a dominant male figure in our home, that is Julius my husband, is a great factor why Nio is very much male. They play rough games such as boxing, kiddie baseball, sword fights, wrestling and the like. I think that activities such as these will help establish the child’s gender role.
I am simply talking from experience, having a young son, a three-year-old.
Now, if you ask me — what if my son grows up to be gay? I will not encourage. But will I accept? A mother will always accept her child. A mom may not agree with all of her child’s choices or preferences, but in the end, being a kind human being is more important than what your gender is.
We do our best as parents. We guide our children based on societal norms while balancing what is personally and morally acceptable to our own families. But once they are adults and choose to live life a certain way, it is their choice, and along with it, the consequences.
A parent must be there to support and love their children all the way, no matter what. We all deserve to be happy and free.
We are all children of God, and in the end, regardless of gender, it is God who will judge us.
Source: Philstar.com
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Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Insufficient Building Fund
Image courtesy of www.oceanviewbaptistchurch.com
Showbiz industry players know only too well that the entertainment industry is not and will never be a stable source of income. Hence smart players often think forward and try at best to save money as much as they can -- while they can. You know, making hay while the sun shines.
Despite the lure of huge earnings of its stars, unknown to most, showbiz is a very unpredictable and erratic industry. Verbal agreements are never to be relied upon, even as half-true. When you are luckily contracted as a star of a film outfit, do not rejoice just yet, for it is not a surefire guarantee that a project is already in the offing. Believe only when you are already out there shooting – sounds funny but true. It is a fact – anything and everything happens in this industry that has no set rules and/or standards.
Many are blinded and overwhelmed by stardom and the fame and fortune that go with it. Not realizing that it's just the surface that they're seeing. Showbiz starters are often shocked to see the reality behind the glitz and glamor. Stars have to work excruciatingly long hours even under severe weather conditions. The loss of privacy and family time, the need to follow the most painful of conditions set by one’s management or outfit are only a few of the drawback one has to endure if one really wants to make it big in the industry. In simple terms, showbiz is not a bed of roses, and definitely will never be a walk in the park. Which is why when you have projects, learn not to squander, think of the rainy days ahead. Save save save – that will be your best weapon.
Actress Endorser AE is in a financial quandary. She has a big house being built in a prime community in the Metro – yet this early, AE’s suppliers are complaining about not being paid as agreed in their contract. These suppliers do not exactly know the reason why AE is short of funds. It had not been that way when they first started with her on the project. All they want now is to get paid soon to avoid further complications that may result in the process.
Is AE not forward-thinking and naïve enough to mount such a big undertaking as having a mansion built without having sufficient cash-flow for it? Or as some kibitzers would say, was her financial handicap caused by the untimely demise of a project gone wrong? Indeed, it pays to be a long range planner, you think?
Moral Lesson: Learn not to put all your eggs in one basket.
Please abide by the GUIDELINES in writing comments if you want them to be posted. Initials and comments that are too explicit will not be accepted.
Follow @FashionPulis on Twitter for the latest update. Please continue to send your juicy stories to michaelsylim@gmail.com. Thank you very much for loving Fashion PULIS!
Disclaimer: The comments of the readers do not reflect the views and opinions of Fashion PULIS.
Poll: What Can You Say About Renaldo Balkman Strangling Teammate Arwind Santos?
Image courtesy of www.theultimatefan.com
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