Wednesday, January 30, 2019

Repost: Brian Velasco's Girlfriend Releases Her Official Statement on Circumstances of Drummer's Demise

Image courtesy of www.push.abs-cbn.com


Following the controversial suicide of late Razorback drummer Brian Velasco last January 16, his girlfriend Portia Carlos finally put a rest to speculations with a detailed statement on Brian's medical condition and death.

Read below for the unedited official statements sent to Push:

Brian’s medical condition:  AN OFFICIAL STATEMENT

Brian had bipolar disorder. A mental HEALTH CONDITION that causes extreme mood swings that include mania or hypomania (emotional highs) or depression (lows). These episodes would happen fast and last for a short time, hours or a few days at the most, unlike depression that could linger for months or years.

On our first year together, he would tell me he had  post-traumatic stress disorder or PTSD. I believe he used this disorder as an explanation for his sudden mood swings because it does not have the stigma of other conditions - just a consequence of a traumatic event.

But having seen all the extreme behaviors, and knowing about major life events in his past, I knew it could not be PTSD. I had a hunch he had bipolar condition.

What are the emotional highs and lows that I have observed? A not-so-happy event can make him giddily happy, just as a manageable issue or problem could make him feel as if it’s the end of the world.

He was staying at their family home during our first year but would go to his condo and call me when he was having an episode because he did not want his family to see it. He did not want to burden his mom, and was careful of what his brothers would see. He was supposed to be their role model. He was more a father to them than an older brother as they grew up without a dad and the brothers were way younger than him.

Sometimes, without any trigger, he would have manic episodes, quickly followed by depressive ones.

Early last year,  he asked me to stay with him because he said thoughts of ending his life were creeping in in short waves.

For a week, he was either very angry or depressed. Raging or crying. Hyper or unable to move.I think because he saw what we went through together  due to his state --- that I had to tie his wrist to mine while we slept, had to ask him to stand in front of the bathroom when I had to pee, I could only take a bath or buy something downstairs when someone visits, and that I had to miss work for a week  --- that he finally agreed to see a doctor.

I will try my best to explain what the doctor said to us to remove the label that just because the definition of bipolar disorder is a “mental” condition, it means anyone diagnosed with it is crazy, because the word “mental” connotes craziness.

The doctor said that when you have the disorder, a part of your brain (not the MIND) does not function in the way it should.

Neurotransmitters that are supposed to meet/pair/ connect - these make persons without the condition react to events normally - do not meet/pair/connect in a person with bipolar disorder.

Before you judge someone with this disorder, I hope you can remind yourself that it is just similar to other disorders where some physiological part of the person does not function as it should, say an inefficient kidney that needs dialysis. In this case, the manifestations of this disorder is behavioral. The usual go-to of most doctors is to prescribe antidepressants, to address just the depression part, which just pulls them all the way up, at risk of crashing all the way down.Another is anti-pyschotic meds. This makes people on it feel numb, dead, and like a zombie, incapable of reacting to any happy or sad event.

So, he was put on medication and he agreed to take it religiously. The medicine was none of those I mentioned above.

If a person with the disorder experienced the highest 10 and the lowest 1 (when experiencing events that only warranted say, a 3 or a 7 reaction) the medication Brian received made him stay in the normal range, in the middle where we, who do not have the condition, are.

But the doctor said that it will take a few days before the meds would take effect.

Knowing that I was watching him 24/7, the doctor told me I can rest when he’s in the low state. The doctor explained that people with bipolar disorder, unlike people with functioning depression, do not have the energy to kill themselves. SO, NO. HE WAS NOT DEPRESSED. And I have seen his few-days-only depressive episodes several times. He would just lie on the sofa or on the bed, and can’teven bring himself to the bathroom to shower, nor feed the dog or himself.

The doctor said what I have to watch out for is the manic episode or a mix of both manic and depressive, because it is during such an episode when they can have an impulse and are capable of killing themselves.

But the medication was not a forever thing. A combination of regular physical activity, plus a special diet, will produce the same effect as the meds, the doctor said.

He has not been able to consult a dietician nor has he been able to start a strict workout regimen. Thus, he continued to take the meds.

And he has been okay since.

We know he also loved his drink,  drinking was “part” of their profession, and always present at gigs. And while he still experienced “bad drunk” episodes, they were just that. He either had bad or happy normal drunk episodes, JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.  

A few weeks ago, he started being snappy. But apart from snapping at me over petty stuff (one of our recent fights was over a kitchen colander when he was cooking, and my saying the pasta he cooked seemed undone), he was his usual kind and patient self 95% of the time.

I just put it down to him being stressed out from the combination of losing his dog last November, exhaustion from seeing to me when I  was recently ill and single-handedly taking care of a new puppy (Panchito) 24/7.

Why would I think that a puppy could cause so much stress? Because Brian would sometimes come up to me and say “Love, I’m so exhausted! I just played with Panchito to expend his bottomless energy supply”... “he’s like the flash!,” and in my mind I would think “Wow! I’m the one who just came from work and you’re exhausted over a puppy.”

But this was before I experienced dog-sitting Panchito. The first time I did, I wanted to escape from him even before Brian got home from a rehearsal. Even if  Panchito is extremely adorable and I love him almost as much as Brian did. I even started making excuses after, telling Brian  I couldn’t dog-sit when he had rehearsals or recordings (the only times he would leave Panchito) because I had to craft a presentation. This, so Brian  could call his brother to watch over Panchito.

At the wake, his brother said “I cant even sleep coz he (Panchito) munches on my hair or whatever he can reach”. So yeah, it was not so far off that Brian was being snappy because he
was exhausted training and taking care of extra-hyper Panchito full-time. He loved the new puppy so much and wanted to be a better furparent  to the new dog  that he didn't go out unless it was for work. SO, NO. WHAT HAPPENED WAS NOT BECAUSE OF THE DEATH OF HIS DOG

ALFIE LAST NOVEMBER.

At the wake however, the helper who cleaned  his condo unit once a week and bought his meds told us Brian had not asked her to buy his meds. After his death, they also saw some meds in the condo when his supply should have been used up by then. The helper knew when she was supposed to buy the meds if Brian had been taking it regularly.

A few days before Jan 16, he had also been drinking because his friend came over that weekend. Once he starts drinking, it would be a 3-4 day drinking spree.  Everyone close to him knows this.

But while he loved to drink, Brian  could also go without drinking for days or weeks. Once he starts though, when he had friends over or he had a gig, he would be drinking for days.

His manic episodes were VERY SIMILAR to his bad drunk episodes. And we all thought he was taking his meds, specifically because he has not had a manic episode since he started taking them.

SO, NO. HE WAS NOT ALONE NOR ISOLATED IN HIS LAST FEW DAYS. WE HAVE SEEN WORSE AND WE JUST ASSUMED THAT IT WAS ALCOHOL AND THAT HE WOULD BE SOBER IN A FEW DAYS.

I was a few floors up and just couldn’t go down much since Sunday because I was closely observing my dog who was very ill. But he would come up to my unit and we had our meals and usual routine together. His brother had been staying at Brian’s  condo because his internship and classes were near Brian’s place. His best friend also just visited. The band had meetings and rehearsals and recordings more frequently these past few weeks. His mom was always messaging him “Good morning baby bly bly” and we have been eating out with her often recently because her office is in Manila and there are a lot of new restos to explore in the area. HE WAS NOT ALONE.

So, imagine  it was like having hypertension, and you were not taking your maintenance meds regularly or you stopped, and when your BP finally went up, you ate a bag of chicharon (in his case, hard alcohol).

But unlike other illnesses, by the time your body needs the medication, you already do not have the mental facility or capacity to know that you needed to take your meds. This is how the doctor saw yesterday explained to me what was happening in the last few days of his life.

I learned that intermittent taking of the meds, or waiting a few days for the meds, could cause a withdrawal.

He wasn’t depressed.

He was actually making plans prior to Jan. 16. On Jan 12 and 13, we spent hours training my always angry shih tzu Jack and Panchito to co-exist because we planned to live together this May, so we won’t have to pay for 2 broadband accounts, 2 meralco bills, 2 assoc dues, and decide each night which unit we were gonna sleep at, only because we needed 2 units in the same building to
separate my dog from his Alfie (his recently departed dog). We thought a puppy would be easier for my dog to learn to co-exist with.

On Jan. 13, he messaged another drum teacher-friend and asked her when their drum recital was.

On Jan 13, over dinner, we were talking about the color of his suits for two upcoming weddings in my family.

On Jan 15, OR A DAY BEFORE THE INCIDENT, he spoke to the mom of a student and asked if they had plans to go on a trip because he is scheduling a recital soon.

BASED ON HIS MEDICAL CONDITION, HE HAD A MANIC-DEPRESSIVE  EPISODE ON THE DAY OF JANUARY 16. This was  confirmed by the psychiatrist I talked to yesterday  (Jan. 26) based on the events and activities I revealed to her.

If you have a relative who has bipolar disorder, please talk to his or her psychiatrist  so that you will understand your loved one and know how you can help. Those suffering from bipolar disorder can indeed have suicidal thoughts and behavior.

Please read up on bipolar disorder to know the symptoms If you suspect your loved one has  the same problem. If the symptoms are present, please bring your loved one to a psychiatrist as soon as possible for the proper diagnosis and to come up with a treatment plan that is suitable to your loved one, which may include therapy, aside from medication depending on your condition.

If you are bipolar and contemplating on ending it all, please seek help. I have always sensed that Brian was kind of embarrassed about having the condition. Please do not be.  Your illness is not something to be embarrassed about. Do find the help that you need.

To those who genuinely were affected by  Brian’s death, you can help by not judging people with this illness.

Please be kind to everyone you meet.  Your small act of kindness might save a life.

***This is the first time I am speaking up about the suicide. I disown

all STATEMENTS  attributed to me in articles published before this

OFFICIAL STATEMENT.

____________

On speculations about Brian and his death: an  OFFICIAL STATEMENT I WILL BE ANSWERING SPECULATIONS, GOSSIP, MALICIOUS RUMORS AND LIES THAT HAVE BEEN WRITTEN AND SAID RECENTLY ABOUT BRIAN AND WHY HE DID WHAT HE DID. I SHOULDN’T EVEN, BUT IT IS DISHONORING THE KIND OF PERSON THAT HE WAS, HIS OVER-THE -TOP LOVE FOR US,  AND THE LOVE OF THOSE AROUND HIM.

1. HE FOLLOWED HIS RECENTLY DEPARTED DOG ALFIE – NOT TRUE. He wanted to be a better Dad to Panchito than what he thought he was to Alfie. He was even more careful with Panchito. We weren’t allowed
to smoke in his unit anymore since Panchito arrived. Brian even went out the week before and bought broccoli, because he wanted to give super food for dogs this early because he wanted Panchito to live longer than Alfie. He loved Panchito so much.

2. HE WAS BEATING ME UP –NOT TRUE. HE NEVER LAID A HAND ON ME EVER. Our worst fights were all shouting matches. Even my mom told him several times how much she admired his
patience and tolerance for my brattiness. This is a guy who would wake up several times a night to refill my hot water bag, because no amount of meds could ease the debilitating pain from my adenomyosis condition.

The guy who a few weeks ago, when I was still having a BIT of pain and had to go to work, on the same day when his gout flared up big time, and we only had one arcoxia left between the two of us, gave way and let me have it.

And because he could not walk to the drugstore because the flare-up was on his ankle, he waited for me to get home from work with a new batch of arcoxia. He endured hours of extreme pain for me. He is the last person who would want me to experience any pain. Physical, or otherwise.

3. RAZORBACK WAS ON ITS WAY DOWN – NOT TRUE. In fact they’re in the last stages of an extremely major project that he had been so happy  and excited about. Something so big that, if I'm not mistaken, has never been done in the PH music industry.

4. THE FAMILY WAIVED THE AUTOPSY BECAUSE WE WANTED TO COVER UP DRUGS IN HIS SYSTEM – NOT TRUE. BRIAN DID NOT DO ANY DRUGS, NOT EVEN WEED. He just liked alcohol. Drugs was never a consideration in the “waiving” of the autopsy. To us, we just lost someone we loved in the most tragic way.

It involved SOCO so we couldn’t even move his body immediately. There was no question of foul play because it was live-streamed. All we wanted was to be able to take care of his body asap, and bring it to a funeral parlor. There was already so much delay waiting to see him and hold him.

And in fact, the NBI still came to the funeral parlor later that day to do an autopsy. HIS FAMILY HAS THE  AUTOPSY REPORT. So we had to wait still, but at least we were able to bring him to a more
“comfortable” place.

5. HE WAS OA OR KSP FOR LIVE-STREAMING THE ACT – NOT TRUE. AS I SAID BASED ON THE DOCTOR’S EXPLANATION, HE DID NOT KNOW WHAT  HE WAS  DOING AT THE TIME DUE TO HIS MANIC- DEPRESSIVE STATE.
Also, someone with bipolar disorder can have the tendency to be flamboyant and to like the grandiose. Remember his dubsmashes, his fondness for anything “fasyon,” and theatrical gestures during gigs and parties.

6. WHY DID I POST THAT AT LEAST HE WAS FREE FROM PAIN. For a very kind and caring person like Brian, he felt guilty that his condition was a burden to us, unlike “narcissistic” ones who got off
on all the attention and disruption that the condition caused. We once talked about it, and he told me he felt bad that  I had to experience and endure his episodes. It pained him.

Persons with bipolar condition may not remember exactly what they said during such episodes, but they know after that they were abusive to us sometimes (NOT PHYSICALLY). I knew it wasn't him and it was the condition.  In his letter to me, he said “you have always been there...sorry for being impossible...”

____________

The only question in my mind left was why he recently stopped taking meds regularly.

I saw a therapist yesterday  (Jan. 26) to help me process my grief and understand this part.

The doctor said it  could have been because everything was going great--- new projects, new puppy, his family, and us and our happy plans for this year---  that he thought he didn't need meds every day anymore.

Unfortunately, he went on withdrawal unexpectedly and while he was drinking at that.

It was a mix, a manic-depressive combination which his doctor warned me about, apart from a manic episode.

Hence, he was able to write letters because even though the moods changed very, very fast in the last 24 hours, there were lucid moments...moments when he felt his recent actions were a burden...and then moments when he couldn’t think about us or anything else anymore and just wanted to end it all...a sudden impulse which could not have been predicted.

***This is the first time I am speaking up about the suicide. I disown all STATEMENTS  attributed to me in articles published before this

OFFICIAL STATEMENT.

89 comments:

  1. Ang habaaaa. Im deepest condolences nalang po

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    1. I'm just wondering bakit hindi siya pinatigil mag inom. Sa alam ko, most if not all, psych drugs react badly with alcohol pero sabi naman niya, hindi daw psych drugs yung binigay.

      Yung hindi niya pagtake ng meds and binge drinking ang naging cause ng pag suicide- this was what I gathered halfway through reading the article, di ko din tinapos. It's heartbreaking.

      pero bakit kasi nag iinom if may sakit na? :(

      hopefully, maging lesson sa mga tao who are suffering from the same illness to take their drugs religiously lalo if afford naman nila.

      I understand the intent of the doctor's advise to the gf, that he did not take his meds because everything is going well, para hindi sisihin ni ate gurl si koya.

      I just hope people with the same disorder will not skip their meds and not drink alcohol while skipping the meds.

      Alcohol directly affects the brain, so kung nagmamalfunction na nga ito, wag ng palalahin pa.

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    2. 9:45, good luck sa pagpapatigil uminom ng alcohol sa taong ayaw tumigil. Good luck din sa taong bigla na lang hininto ang meds at gusto mong ituloy-tuloy lang nila ang gamot sa ayaw uminom ng gamot.

      Siguradong pinahinto siya ng pag-inom pero kung siya mismo ang ayaw tumigil uminom at siya mismo ang ayaw uminom ng meds, ano ang magagawa mo?

      Kahit dalhin mo siya sa psychiatric hospital, hindi rin siya puwedeng pilitin na uminom ng gamot doon kapag ayaw niya.

      Ang nangyayari na lang ay umiinom uli sila ng gamot later on at marami a kasi silang symptoms na lumabas uli pagtigil ng gamot.

      Paano ko nalaman? May kamag-anak akong ganyan.

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    3. What is with people and not wanting to read long statements and articles. The gf doesn’t care if ang reading capacity nyo lng ay 2-3 paragraphs. Baka gusto nyo pa pictures para easier to get!? Geeez, it took her a lot of effort and even emotional pain to put all these to words and you just complain about the length.

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  2. As much I want to be educate myself regarding his condition, di ko kaya basahin hehe google ko nalang

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    1. Read her statement. Very informative siya and simple yung words, madaling maintindihan.

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    2. NKKLK K 12:50 AM. Ano pinagkaiba kung sa google? Magbabasa ka din naman.

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    3. 2:06 korek at least ang statement niya is actually giving an example, kung nag google ka scientific terms lang mababasa mo.

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    4. Ako naman binasa ko lahat. The first few paragraphs pa lang na minention nya yung bipolar disorder, sabi ko “ahhh kaya pala”.

      Nakakaawa talaga ang nga tao na may condition na ganyan. At strong din yung support system nya. Hirap kasi pag nag stop ka ng meds na walang doctor’s advice. Grabe yung withdrawal symptoms nyan.

      I hope this incident will help people understand more about mental illness, the importance of mental health and to stop the stigma.

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    5. Korek.need nyu basahin.

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    6. VERY INFORMATIVE. VERY SAD. If you have relatives suffering from bipolar condition you will understand. But it makes me even more scared. ☺️

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  3. All his struggle, he’s happy now. Yan ang gusto nya

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  4. After reading the book of his life story I therefore conclude Alcohol contributed A great part to his acquired or inherited disorder. I think what happened is the more he thought that good things are coming his way by the world standards the more he experienced that emptiness...he tried to drown it with alcohol coz i think the more he takes his meds the more empty he feels thats why he stop taking it and he knows what he's doing coz he made a huling paalam and habilin.

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    1. when you are depressed, you actually self medicate by taking in alcohol. Kasi hindi din nya maintindihan ang karamdaman niya.

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    2. Part ng pagiging myembro ng banda niya kaya uminom guys. Then sa last e start uminom ulit kasi dumating si Bessie. While I agree na it should have been better stop drinking alcohol (meron or walang sakit tigilan dapat), for the rest (the why questions) wag naman mag-assume.

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  5. Binasa ko talaga. Grabe. We have different battles talaga. Hay. May you rest in peace.....

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    1. True. I too have a genetic condition and it’s tough. I will say that experiencing these health challenges has made me empathetic of others. Mahirap maging quick to judge, but sadly madalas nangyayari lalo na on social media where people are emboldened by anonymity. We all have different crosses to bear. Sana we don’t tear one another down na lang.

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    2. Learned a lot reading this account. One can only imagine what his family is still going through. Must be so heartbreaking. So sorry for your loss po.

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  6. In summary, may bipolar disorder siya at may episode noong nag-suicide.

    Mahirap ang may mental illness at karamihan ng ibang tao ay hindi nare-recognize kung may bipolar disorder or episode ang kausap nila.

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    1. In addition, dapat tuloy-tuloy ang pag-take ng meds kasi it takes a few days bago gumana ang mga psych meds. Sabi ng mga katrabahuan ko na paychiatrists, people will not commit suicide when they are on depressive mode kasi they don't have the strength and motivation, but rather when they are in manic mmode. Condolences po.

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    2. Kapag bigla ring hindi uminom ng meds, bigla ring nagkakaroon ng episode. May kamag-anak akong ganyan.

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  7. my friend's cousin comitted suicide just yesterday! She's only 21 years old. :( hinde na nakakatuwa pabata ng bata na. Pag bigat na nararamdaman suicide n agad. :( ang lungkot pati ako affected pag naka basa ako or naaririnig.

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    1. Napakabata pa. Sobrang nakakalungkot iyan kahit hindi ko kilala.

      Condolence.

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    2. Teh, it’s not just about feelings. Usually, yung mga suicidal, may chemical imbalance na sa brain thus the mental disorder. Educate yourself naman please.

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    3. Bakit ANU ba sinabi ko part ang sucidal thoughts pag sobrang lungkot wlaaa naman ako sinabi it's just only feellings!!!! 143

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    4. Teh 2:17, sinulat mo kasi “pag bigat na nararamdaman suicide na agad”...so your pertaining to feelings po. Hindi kasi nila nararamdaman, hindi yung pagiisip din ang prob, sabi nga its OUR BRAIN (NOT MIND). Kung binasa ko, may imbalance . It does not act the way it should. Gaya kung may sakit ka sa kidney, hindi nagpa function ang kidney mo.

      Mahirap talaga iexplain sa mga tao na hindi dumaan sa true mental disorder. Ang nasa isip nila lagi madali lang yan, etc etc...pero kapag nagkaron kayo ng mental break down masasabi nyo na hindi talaga sya feelings lang.

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    5. Di lang sobrang bigat ang nararamdaman kaya nagsusuicide. Minsan ang mga yan walang nararamdaman. Di nga nila alam ginagawa nila e. Educate yourself further kasi mali yung sinabi mo na “pag bigat na nararamdaman suicide na agad.”

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    6. Sabi mo po "pagbigat na nararamdaman, suicide agad". Hindi nga ganyan ang nangyayari diba, kung binasa mo lanh sana at inintindi. Wala sa edad yan. Ang brain tulad ng ibang parte ng katawan, kapag hindi nagpa-function ng maayos, ke maganda ang nangyayari sa buhay mo o hindi, may tendency to do irational things such as suicide!!!!

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  8. Nalungkot ako sa number 3: "RAZORBACK WAS ON ITS WAY DOWN – NOT TRUE. In fact they’re in the last stages of an extremely major project that he had been so happy and excited about. Something so big that, if I'm not mistaken, has never been done in the PH music industry."

    :(

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  9. He probably cared a lot about the people around him that he didn't want to burden them any longer.

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  10. Observation ko lang, mas madaming lalami ang nag co commit ng suicide. Since siguro di sila vocal sa mga nararamdaman nila lagi

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  11. Iba na talaga ngayon at may pangalan na ang sakit na ,noon mawala ka sa pag iisip sasabihin Lang ng tao na baliw ka o kaya sira ulo. Noon wala pa naniniwala sa depression o ptsd .sasabihin Lang nila naloko de amor o kaya nabaliw

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    1. It's called "Education"

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    2. Sa Pilipinas lang yun. Ngayon lang kasi nagiging aware sa mental health. Yung postpartum disorder nga nahanginan/nabinat daw.

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    3. Yes, even yung dyslexia where napagbabaligtad yung letters or numbers na nababasa. Noon hindi natin alam yung condition na yan sasabihan na lang yung tao na mahina utak.

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    4. Noon kapag malikot ka at hindi mapakali, sasabihin nakakainis ka sa sobrang likot at manahimik ka sanisang sulok. Iyon pala, ADHD or ADD

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  12. Mental disorder is very taboo in Philippines.people think of you have mental issues you are crazy.these people who suffer from mental illnesses need genuine help.they are helpless when it comes to battling the disease.we should educate and learn the signs and symptoms even with younger children.mental illness is not something we need to be ashamed of.it can be treated and controlled as long as we address the problem constructively.

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  13. I'm not sure about the number 5 statement. Can someone enlighten or explain it further.

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    1. Bipolar Disorder kasi have Manic and Depressive Episode. Manic meaning sobrang hyper mo you feel like you can do anything. Kaya nga sinabi ng doctor, when a person with this condition should be carefully watched during Manic state.

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    2. Thank you 2:13am

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  14. God is the key. Prayer is the best weapon. I honestly believe that psychological, mental, and behavioural disorders are actually spiritual battles or forms of demonic attack or oppression. Demons love it when humans end their lives. The devil and his demons work 24/7 to drive people to commit suicide by making the latter feel troubled, anxious and hopeless. Pray to God and ask Him to equip you with a strong mind, heart, body, spirit, and soul.

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    1. Ate/Kuya, I believe in God also. But you can’t deny the science behind this. There are a lot of studies that can back up these information. Pwede naman po tayo maging maka-Diyos at the same time acknowledge the scientific facts. Huwag natin idamay si God sa lahat.

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    2. Amen. True. Kami nasa genes may sister ako na may mental illness pero nagagamot kaya lang bayolente pag inaatake. Kulang lang siya kapit kay lord. Ako naman nadedepress pero no one knows it kasi di ko naman inoopen up. More than 10 years na ako sa bahay lang. Lumalabas once in a blue moon pero more on ayaw ko makihalubilo. Sumasagi naman sakin na anytime pwede na ako kunin ni lord kasi wala naman reason para mabuhay pero di ko kaya mag suicide kasi magagalit si lord nun baka di ako. Mapunta sa heaven. Sana isang araw di na ako magising para tapos na.

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    3. Mental illness can be caused by chemical imbalance in the brain. Binasa mo ba statement nya? Kasi it’s like having cancer. It’s not even a guarantee na dahil may healthy lifestyle ka di ka na magkaka cancer. Even the most religious persons battle mental illness. Again, educate yourself.

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    4. 2:13am NO. No Demons. Just body parts - In this case in his brain - not working properly. Just like people who get allergic rhinitis or people born with diabetes. Nakakaloka ka. Prayers are always welcome but the devil? Seriously? Who raised you? Linda Blair?

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    5. 757 wag ka po magagalit Kay 231 Kung un ang paniniwala nya. Ako rin naniniwala na dapat pinag pa-pray ang mga ganyang illnesses. Wala po masama Kung kay God lumapit.
      And besides ang body and soul natin galing Kay God. Tama sya devil ang nag poprovoke dyan. Ganyan po kwento NG husband ko dati. Kung Sino Sino nakikita nya, good thing nadala sya sa isang Christian Church na tumutulong sa mga may mental illness and may drug problem. And now he is a good family man.

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    6. May science man ang mental disorder but you cannot deny that GOD is the only one who can fully restore you. Yung mga meds naman panakip butas lang and kay Lord ka lang talaga makakakapit in those dark moments wherein di mo na alam kung ano nangyayari sayo.

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    7. Ako I believe that science and faith can coexist if people would be more open minded. Do not just blame it on not being maka Diyos or kulang ng kapit kay Lord. God can provide the strength needed by people who are going through depression or other mental illnesses but people should not "ipasa Diyos na lang ang lahat." Education and treatments are still needed to make sure that people are feeling okay.

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    8. 4:05 ang sakit naman sa puso ng last sentence mo. I don’t know you pero nalungkot ako sa mga sinabi mo what more kung relatives mo ang makabasa. Pray ka lang lage. Im sure madame nagmamahal syo kaya live a happy life with the people around you. 😊

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    9. I'm sure people who committed suicide prayed at some point in their lives. But when it comes to having mental disorder, seeking professional help is still the best option.

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  15. A wonderful, even if it was a sad read. Hopefully it will help others change heir views who are battling their private demons.

    For my part, though it can be very tiring and draining emotionally, I do my best to listen, to be the friend a friend needs when they're down. Anytime that they reach out, I do my best to be in touch whatever the time. I guess it's because I too have known somebody who ended his life while we were teens. If listening to their woes or rants help them keep up and not give up, then so be it.

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    1. I can only imagine. Bless you for being there for your friend. Experienced this too and those of us who found out about it had this longing to have been there sana to lend support when able.

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  16. May he eternally rest in peace and may God preserve you and give you hope and promise during these very difficult times.

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  17. Boss ko ay clinically diagnosed, una observed ko lang until his former employee told me. Napakahirap intindihin ang taong may bipolar in 10 months ko sa company 12 assistant ko na ng nagresign dahil hindi nila kaya at hindi alam na may bipolar yung boss namin. Kapag pagod or pressure yung boss ko bigla nalang syang nagiisip negatively at magagalit ng walang dahilan. Outbursts kahit sa saan, sa airports, meeting even with our clients nakakaawa din until marealized nya na may nagawa na hindi nya nacontrol pero mahirap kaya nagresign din last Friday kasi trauma din ako kapag episode ng outburts nya. Try ko intindihin pero ako ata magkakaPTSD kapag nagstay pa ako.

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  18. Binasa ko. Nakakalungkot pero very informative about bipolar. Condolences to her and sa mga loved ones ni Brian Velasco.

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  19. Sana magstart na ung every Provincial hospital/ DOH nang isang municipality not sure magkakaron na nang 1 Psychiatrist okay na isa kesa sa wala and lalo na sa mga province na di pa nababago mentality nila about sa depression, bi-polar disorder na kinakahiya nila hanggang sa magcommit na nanag suicide ung isang tao. 💔

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    1. I agree with you, hope our goverment extend the medical help re: mental illness..

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  20. i know someone with bipolar disorder and this is very informative. salamat. rip

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  21. Sad read. Sincere condolences. Kaya kailangan lang talaga ma realize ng iba ang need for sensitivity towards one another when making comments especially on social media. Di yung dahil you have an option to be anonymous eh you throw all cares away. You don’t know what it may cause others. Life is challenging enough as it is without hurting one another. Choose to be kind.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sooo true!! #bekindalways.
      Lets all be more understanding..

      Delete
  22. Very informative yet very sad read. Sana marami pang makabasa nito para mas maging aware tayo sa battle ng ibang tao, not to easily jump into conclusions and judge them as if they walked a mile in their shoes.

    Rest in peace and deepest condolences to the family...

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  23. Binasa ko lahat, worth it basahin kahit hindi mo kilala si Brian. Very informative, very real. At ang naintindihan and natutunan ko sa lahat, may sakit sya. Part of his neurons are not connected or functioning well, at dahil dyan iba ang takbo ng emosyon at isip ni Brian. Illness TALAGA. :(

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  24. Pag dating talaga sa mental health, marami pa din ang di nakakaunawa.

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  25. Mahaba ang post but I advise everyone to read it. Not just to know what really happened but to also open your minds to people going through this disease. We need to be more understanding and be more helpful.

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  26. Isa lang naman makakalutas o alis ng "emptiness" natin, si Jesus. TOTOO YUN! Kasi I felt the emptiness before, yung lungkot na di mo maexplain kahit wala ka namang problem or what. Yung gusto mo na matapos na buhay mo kasi it felt so empty and useless.
    Pero Nung nakilala ko ang Panginoon, dun nagbago ang lahat. The struggles, problems are still there, pero ang good news you don't feel empty anymore kasi you know na di ka nagiisa na andyan si Jesus karamay mo.

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    1. Tama po yan. Husband ko din naligaw NG landas. And now nagbabalik.

      Delete
    2. good for u then pero gurrl medical attention talaga ang kelangan. Bonus na yung faith and support from fam

      Delete
    3. 10:15 were you diagnosed with bipolar disorder or any other mental health problems? If not, then wag mong i-conclude na si Jesus ang kulang. Iba-iba tayo ng struggles, at iba-iba rin ang solusyon.

      Delete
    4. 8:45pm, bakit bitter ka? I'm just sharing my personal experience, you cannot discredit that! Very same symptoms ang naranasan ko like with Brian and sorry di kasi ako mayaman para may pang psychiatrist o pang gamot eh kaya sa faith ko ako kumapit at EFFECTIVE siya kasi aminin mo man o hindi, ang Diyos ang may likha sa atin lahat kaya di mo pwedeng ilayo o iseparate ang Diyos sa mga nangyayari sa paligid o sa isang tao whether good or bad ito. Siya ang Creator FYI. At sa maniwala ka man din o hindi eh Siya lang ang makakagaling sa atin physically, mentally and emotionally. Instrumento lang Niya ang mga doctor na nagaalaga sa atin.
      Siguro di mo maiintindihan ang sinasabi ko dahil di mo pa naranasan na ma-encounter ang power ni Jesus!

      Delete
  27. ang sad naman nito

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  28. Very informative madali maintindihan to sa lahat ng explanation with mental condition sana magktime kayo para basahin at unawain to at hindi maghardhly judge agad sa mga event na ganito PLEASE DO READ AND UNDERSTAND

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  29. Thank you for sharing. Your courage will help others understand this illness. May he rest in peace and may his family find comfort in our understanding.

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  30. I salute her for loving and understanding the person beyond his illness. Godbless ma'am.

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  31. He wasn’t alone? Then how come they didn’t notice that he wasn’t taking his meds?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe because everytime they would ask him if he took his meds already, he would say yes. He was the one who was keeping his meds in his bedroom, not the other people.

      Delete
  32. This is really informative. For someone like me who is still in denial that I was diagnosed with mild psychological depression and would often think of ending my life. The experience was somewhat familiar.One moment you are so happy and then next moment you want to just escape and end everything. It was embarassing to admit that you have a psychological condition because of some feeling know-it-all and judgmental people. To anyone reading my comment, please be a little kind and understanding, it can literally save lives.

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  33. My fiance has bipolar disorder. Before maging kami wala akong idea about this condition. Akala ko moody lang, nothing serious. That's why when I met him and he told me he has bipolar, no big deal saakin. I became his comfort zone. In 5 years na getting to know kami, never nya napakita sakin everytime he's manic or in depressed mode. But later on I experienced his episodes. For me hindi mahirap unawain as long as educated ka at andun yung understanding. And of course kasi mahal ko sya. When I asked him bakit nung nakilala mo ako hindi ka na kagaya nung dati? He's become a lot stable nung dumating ako sa buhay nya. Sabi nya kasi daw never ko sya tinreat na iba sya. I treat him as a normal person. Pag depressed sya and he cries, I tell him "it's okay. Tomorrow you'll be fine." "I feel down too sometimes. Halika hug kita. Iyak ka lang." Kapag manic naman sya lagi ko syang pinapatulog ng maaga. Mabuti ng matulog sya kasi mas mahirap pag hyper sya. Before ko sya mameet nag try na din sya mag suicide. Tumalon sya sa flyover 30 meters high. Alcohol din ang dahilan. Thank God he survived that. Ngayon he doesnt drink unless he gets my approval. And we made an agreement na iinom lang sya kapag kasama ako and limit to 1 bottle a day. I remind him about his meds everyday. May alarm ako sa phone morning, afternoon and evening para hindi nya nakakalimutan. He visits his doctor regularly and we're very happy na he's been stable. Despite his condition, he's the best thing that's ever happened to me. Kaya ko nga sya papakasalan. Compared partners ng friends ko mga walang kwenta, babaero at nanakit ng babae, masasabi kong maswerte padin ako. For someone na may bipolar, importante talaga yung may support silang nakukuha from everyone around them kasi they cannot do it alone. Judgment from society will not help at all.

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    1. awww. so happy for you. sana lahat ng may ganitong disorder makakita ng katulad mo. Best wishes!

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  34. Bipolar disorder is no joke, it’s a battle between life and death. The will to live and the will to end the suffering. It’s a vicious cycle that is painful for everybody, for the person that suffers and all love ones around him. Medication can’t fix it all. You have to fight the demon inside you, if you’re reading this and might not be in a good mood, take a walk, go sight seeing, look at the greenery around you, every beat of your heart counts, you matter, the world needs you, you are you, you are special and above all YOUR ARE LOVE!

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    1. fight and kill the stigma. mental disease are the same with every disease na nageexist ngayon; that need help and medication. I am a mental health patient also. I was diagnosed 2 years ago with anxiety/panic disorder. I also experienced that sadness na di mo alam kung san nanggagaling and you're thinking na killing yourself ang tanging sagot. I act and seek help immediately. Kelangan mo lang talaga tanggapin sa sarili mo na kelangan mo ng tulong. Til now, I'm still on medication.

      Delete
  35. nakakadepress basahin at too much burden for whoever is looking after people like him. mawawalan ka ng sarili mong buhay pag ganyan kasama mo. so saludo ako sa gf nya.

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  36. I would always prefer natural ways of healing like yung suggested exercise and therapy. That is, kung pwede lang. For one thing ayoko maging dependent on anything.

    I appreciate the GF for the information. Many people are suffering the same.

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  37. I used to have bipolar disorder. There were two types of meds prescribed Mood enhancer then anti psych drugs, once ko lang tnake yung latter para kong mababaliw so I told my psych that I can't take that. What I did was a total lifestyle change and exercise, I avoided alcohol and puyat din no. 1trigger kase sya pati na ang coffee. I had suicidal thoughts too pero buti di humantong sa ganon. Magaling nako and that was 5yrs ago.

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    Replies
    1. That's wonderful! I'm glad you asked for help, and I am glad you are well now. My cousin got anxiety disorders, she just got diagnosed few months ago. She's doing better now, and I hope she'll get well too as you are.

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  38. Well yeah, but that shouldn’t be the case regarding his situation. As stated in the statement, the helper was the one buying the meds. They should’ve educated the helper with his condition, because the helper only informed them about the meds when they were at the wake already.

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  39. I just want to share that if you have bipolar disorder, dapat ang taong may karamdaman ay wag iiwanang mag isa lalo na kung ang mood swings at mabilis magbago.Halimbawa hyper active tapos magiging depressed sa iisang araw lang.

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  40. I noticed with my own experience with bipolars, one major trigger of a manic attack is stress. Bipolars cannot handle stress even if it is caused by the excitement over a happy event.

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