Thursday, August 4, 2011

Letter From a Reader: Appearance-Based Discrimination

Image courtesy of www.sodahead.com

Dear Fashion PULIS,

I am an avid follower of your blog and I would just like to share a very irritating incident that happened yesterday afternoon. I just got off from work and my friends and I agreed to dine in a cafe in Eastwood since it was near our workplace. I was very excited to try out this cafe because it will be my first time to eat there and my friends are saying that the burgers there are really delicious.

All three of us ordered their Iced Coffee which came with two shot glasses that each contained milk and sugar syrup. These shot glasses were like miniature beakers. We were actually enjoying our meal until one of the waiters came to our table to take away the two shot glasses while uttering "Excuse me po, LIMITED EDITION po kasi ito" in a loud manner. His remark was loud enough to be heard by the other customers sitting in nearby tables. My friends and I were dumbfounded with the waiter's unnecessary remark because it was as if he was accusing us of intending to steal them.

In my opinion, this is a clear case of discrimination because the waiter's remark was offensive. Our job does not require us to wear office attire and that's why we were in our casual clothes that were very presentable. I believe that our physical appearance did not deserve any kind of insensitive remark from the waiting staff of the said burger joint.

My friends and I felt that we became victims of appearance-based discrimination. I believe that whatever a person's status is in life, he or she should not be subjected to such kind of ridicule and insult.

Fellow Fashion PULIS readers, what would you have done if you encountered the same situation? Is there anything I could have done about it? Your comments will be highly appreciated.

All the best,
CM

64 comments:

  1. Hi! I understand the frustration experienced by the letter-sender but I just would like to know if they tried talking with the manager and informed him/her about the waiter's offensive actions? I think that's the most logical thing to do.

    And can I just? I don't think FP is the venue for these kinds of complaints. Just sayin'. :) Hugs to you FP and to my fellow readers as well. :D

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  2. NOT A BIG DEAL. PERO IF NANGYARI SA AKIN YAN EDI SASABIHIN KO ANG TOTOO SA WAITER NA "anu ba problema mo? hinde naman namin nanakawin yung baso okay?" not unless maingay kayo tas yung baso eh nakikita muntikan na mabasag cympre the waiters must do something since "limited edition siya" diba? kasi pag nabasag yun...kasalan din ng mga waiters yun sila yung mapapagalitan. ang mali lang ng waiter bakit yun ang binigay na shot glass na yun since limited edition siya diba?:) overall hinde na ito kailangan maging big deal..the waiter is just doing his job pero dapat hinde niya tinaasan boses niya.wrong move siya dun

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  3. I would answer back "Excellent customer service!" with a sneer. This shouldn't be done to customers. For what its worth the limited edition shotglasses were brought out to be used.

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  4. call the manager and have the waiter explain his remark.

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  5. I mean, if you had to complain, just place the actual name to make them improve their service. I don't know, tough call. Why would the waiter just say that? Either 1) he was worried that the "beakers" would break; 2) the customers were "joking" around with it --- you know the typical attitude na "ang cute, take home natin"; or 3) discrimination nga. if deliberate discimination. you could have shrugged that off and acted he was insignificant, or shot a sharp retort towards the waiter with something like "so?, you could've asked politely." or if you want to be equally mean "really? go ahead, baka nga naman kulang pa sweldo mo kung nawala yan." or plainly or asked for the manager to report the incident. Hello, you guys are the customers... and without you, wala syang sweldo.

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  6. sana inaway mo yun waiter or dapat nag suot ka ng maganda kasi dba, most pinoys madaling maloko by looks, pag maganda ka manamit, makkapanloko ka kaysa sapangt manamit, ndi na yan papasukin. like for example this lady involved in a pyramiding scam. o baka naman, ndi ka kagandahan.. kya ka pinahiya?

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  7. you should have asked the waiter.

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  8. what does this have to do with fashion?

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  9. dapat hindi mo na pinalampas ung incident. cases like that, especially if you feel you've been insulted should have been brought to the manager's attention. tingnan mo ngayon ka nagco-complain whereas kung umaksyon ka e di na-resolve agad ung issue.

    grabe FP, di ka lang pang-chism, pang ate helz pa...

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  10. naku I would never let that happen to me. I will tell him right away> AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT? usually. I will ask him to call his manager and ask if he instructed his waiter to do that, because it is unacceptable for paying customers.
    I can tell him that I am a blogger and I do reviews for establishments and MARK DOWN sila for that :) hahahha

    JOyzzz

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  11. ha! same thing happened to me sa store ng expensive ballpens in the metro. i asked how much the retail is nung isang wallet, eh naka chinelas lang kme, shorts and tshirt because summer helllo gusto lang namin mag mall, hirit ba naman, mahal yan. sa sobrang inis ko, nilabas ko wallet ko and told her ah, parang ganito? tahimik ang lola mo, they should know na customer's are always right and dapat alagaan nila ang mga cliente, hindi humirit ng parang close kayo. PWE sa lahat ng mga nag tataray na servers at sales personel.

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  12. Pangalanan na para we can boycott the place. Is the burger joint S?

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  13. filipinos are super sentisitive. just shrug it off.

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  14. We all get that from all parts of the WORLD. The best reply to this is a formal complaint. Or for your personal satisfaction - sarcasm towards the waiter.

    Seriously, people like that should not be even hired.

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  15. You should have spoken with the waiter and the manager.

    ------

    Wow FP, parang DTI-substitute na yung blog mo.

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  16. sugurin na natin, now na! wag siya gaganyan ganyan kund panget naman siya! iharap mo siya sakin, carl! hahahahaha

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  17. In my opinion lang ha. There's nothing wrong if people make sumbong things like this to FP. I understand that FashionPulis was made to write things about fashion but it has been proven that this venue can reach institutions, people and organizations that would not normally budge when "normal" people complain. Why would you limit the power and use of this medium if it can be a venue for something that can be good and progressive?

    THIS SHOULD BE A LESSON AND A REMINDER TO ALL THAT PHYSICAL APPEARANCE NOR A PERSON'S STATUS IN LIFE SHOULD NOT WARRANT ANY INSULTING REMARK OR TREATMENT FROM ANYBODY OR ANY ESTABLISHMENT FOR THAT MATTER.

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  18. If your able to lodge a complaint here on FP with the regards to how you where treated at the said resto . Why didn't you voice your objections right there and then ? You didn't state your next move when you where at the resto . Except how frustrated you are with how you were treated . I suggest if it really bothers you , why don't you go back look for the manager and file an incidental report . Than you tell the manager that you heard great reviews but was totally insulted by the way you where treated and will tell your blogger friends or better yet make a report to DTI ( Department of trade and industry . ) I suggest you act on your complaint not just vent it here in FP good day ,

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  19. the nerve! sabihin mo..."don't worry wala naman kaming balak kainin ung beaker nyo"

    makapag-stacking na nga muna nag gamit...

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  20. I don't think S is the burger joint, new cafe daw and S has been in Eastwood for a while. I agree, FP is not the proper forum for the complaint. Second, it was something that can be resolved right then and there by complaining to management.

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  21. Kung LIMITED EDITION, bakit pa sinerve sa customer? Ingat na ingat sila...kahit pa iuwi ng customer yun, the point na sinerve wala KARAPATAN ang waiter mag salita ng ganon.

    Letter Sender, sana you should have gotten the name of the waiter and asked him where is their manager and have them explained.

    Mali kung sa mali yung action nung waiter, I mean for such a loud voice. Kung may gusto sya sabihin tell it nicely. Not unless bingi si waiter kaya malakas boses nya! hahaha :D

    Btw FP, One of the reasons Im hooked with your blog kase you also entertain letter of complaints. I mean its good to know rin naman yung comments ng ibang readers with regards sa nangyari incident. What would they do if they were on that same situation? Para that way people can voice out their concern and hear out others comments also. These days pa naman ang hirap ipaglaban ang right ng customer. Its all good FP! Good Job! :) P

    --JG

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  22. Maybe you guys were joking around that you want to take that thing home, and then the staff heard you?
    There are two sides of the story. I don't think waiters would be that rude for no reason

    -a.c.

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  23. Baka nanakawan na sila ng ganun dati... Waiter magbabayad kapag ganun eh... Siguro nadala na yun waiter.
    -a.c.

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  24. Name the establishment!!!

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  25. At anon 153 - feeling ko hindi S, JR yan.
    Hi FP! Belated Belated happy birthday!

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  26. Anong problema nung nagsulat???? Hindi ko ma-gets? Kelan pa naging discriminatory remark ang sabihin na limited edition ang baso?? I'm sure may ginawa siya para sabihin ng waiter yun. Baka naglolokohan na "iuwi na natin ito" or "bagay ito sa kwarto ko".....Alam mo Mr Carl, Praning ka lang! Guilty ka siguro kasi gusto mo pitikin yung baso.......

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  27. You should have informed the manager. Or ignored it. Ignoramuses like that shouldn't be given the time of day. When random people (who don't have ANY right to discriminate whether or not you were looking presentable or not) are rude, i just stay with the mindset that they are ugly anyway; if putting other people down makes them happy, so be it. Imagine mo, they wake up every morning having to look at their ugly mug in the mirror. Hayaan nalang natin. She/he will meet her/his match one fine day. =)

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  28. Aha! Apart from the very popular fasfood restaurant, there's only one other burger joint at Eastwood City Walk- "S."

    Deretsuhin ko na- maski pa call center agents "lang" ang clients ninyo, S, you have to treat each and every customer with respect. They still paid for your overpriced burgers!!!

    Kabastusan ang ginawa ninyo!

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  29. perhaps they were rowdy nga, hence natakot ang waiter na mabasag ang limited edition beakers. if in which case, kung nabastusan man sila, why don't they examine themselves and ask if they did anything to be merited with such actions. the waiters are people too, and they have feelings. baka naman sila yung unang nambastos? or maybe they were giving snide remarks, and not treating the waiters humanely? we should get the other side of the issue first before making judgment.

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  30. a similar thing happened to me in a grocery store. my hipag and i were checking out cameras. she was on one side of the counter, i was on the other. she was checking out 1 model, and i requested to see another one in front me. the salesclerk then said "isa-isa lang po". i got very offended and called the manager to complain. just because my hipag and i came together, it doesn't mean i do not have the capacity to buy and be assisted as an individual. the salesclerk was reprimanded.

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  31. had this happened to me, i would have talked to the manager and gave him a small reprimand re customer relations...grabe shot glass lang yon..murang mura lng yon..not worth the bad image n kapalit!!

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  32. You just made a fool out of yourself, I'm sorry to say that. Instead of addressing your complaint to the establishment, you opt to write here instead and I do not see the point in that. What message do you want to send across? People should use your common sense before submitting nonissue articles to FP.

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  33. For me the waiter should have at least lowered down his voice. He should be sensitive with those kind of things. If you want your customers to keep coming back then give them a sense of comfortableness. If that was me i would tell him that what he did was just not right to me. Sometimes, people need to know that what they are doing is not downright acceptable. Manners and etiquette should always be put in mind.

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  34. hay... people talaga! if you were offended you could have done something right there and then. why didn't you confront the waiter?

    of course all of us dreams of a discriminatory-free world but by not giving the waiter a chance to explain his side to that remark, isn't it that you also discriminated against him by jumping to conclusions? you say you were offended but remarks are subjected to interpretation so you could have clarified things with him and the manager of this establishment.

    i hope people will be more assertive when it comes to these kinds of issues instead of sulking then writing about it later on. i don't mind that FP publishes complaints and grievances every now and then but this is just too much. CM, i hope you grow some balls so you can fight your own battles.

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  35. Why insult the letter sender? It's easy for you to say, "you should have done this, that..." But if that should happen to you, you really can't tell what you would have done right there and then. Hindi din lahat, palaban. Hindi lahat, marunong magtaray.

    To the one who even called letter -sender as praning,.. Hello, hindi lang po sinabi ng waiter na, "limited edition po kase ito.." The waiter took those glasses away from them!

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  36. Sobrang insecure naman ng reader na yan. I'm sure ganun rin yung waiter sa ibang tao. Isipin na lang nung nagpadala ng sulat na yung waiter ay machacharge pagnawala yung mga shot glass na yon, kaya pa ba nag minimum wage niya ang kaltas? Siguro nawalan na sila ng shot glass kaya praning na yung waiter o yung manager niya. Gaya ng sabi nung ibang commenter, kung sobra silang offended, bakit pa sila susulat sa FP? Di na lang nila sinabi sa manager, di naka free dessert o drinks pa sila.

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  37. try asking those corrupt officials who stole millions to billions of money and yet they dressed so formal, so kagalang galang, and a cigarette vendor who wears old, dirty clothes, minsan punit punit pa who only does decent jobs to put food on the table.

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  38. It's not about being insensitive. Filipino waiters and salespeople are judgmental. I've experienced this kind of discrimination a lot of times, but I always make sure to call their attention. :)

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  39. Unlike the majority of the comments here in FP saying that complainant should have retorted, I don't think it would be a good idea. If you do that, it gives people the impression that you are on the same level with the waiter - disrespectful and "palengkera". The best thing you could've done is tell the waiter in a polite manner that you do not have any intentions of taking home the "LIMITED EDITION" shot glass and that he should learn to ask politely next time, that way he'd be more embarrassed knowing that you are well-bred and stealing stuff from any restaurant for "souvenir" isn't your thing. I don't think there is a need to call up the manager since this isn't something grave.

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  40. Yes, I agree! at some point you should have corrected the waiters or make an appeal to the manager. If you do not correct people when they upset you, they will never learn to respect you.

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  41. nonsense ang kwento na to.....sana sinabi mo rin kung anu ang maaring dahilan kung bakit ka inapproach ng waiter.....isa pa anu ang konek sa discrimination at pagsabi ng limited edition? wala db......sa manager ka n lng sana nagreklamo......susko.....

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  42. FashionPulis.com have thousands of new and repeat viewers everyday. This is the perfect venue to let people know of what's going on around the metro.. chismis or non-chismis.. good or bad, specially sa mga establishments na hindi dapat ganito ang asal. Sa mga nagsasabi bakit pa sumulat si FP reader dito, manahimik na lang kayo at magbasa. Kung may magre-reklamo dito eh si FP lang yon. Besides, he wouldn't publish it if it's not worthy enough for his thousands of readers to know and learn from it. Otherwise, nag-post na sana si FP na wala dapat nagpapadala ng mga ala-Erwin Tulfo na reklamo. So peace everyone at magbasa na lang tayo.

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  43. FP, some of your readers here are complaining why your site is a venue for complaints about this and that. but for me it is so fine that these become an eye opener for all of us, which we can benefit eventually, kasi like yung letter sender mo about dun sa style ng SM, now nagiging cautious na rin kami about purchasing products from that mall, and that resto na me ipis sa food nila which made us think of not going there. kasi kung ang iba naiinis because they wanted you to focus more on fashion, showbiz, etc, para sakin, okey nga dito kasi marami pala nakakarelate sa stories nila, nagbibigay ng payo kung ano pwede gawin. and readers chose your site because it's fast becoming popular that even celebrities and their friends visit here at mas naaactionan pa dahil yung ibang readers dito eh dun mismo nagwowork sa company na nirereklamo, even disclosing mga modus ng ibang kumpanya. just continue what you are doing, fp... thanks for this wonderful blog....

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  44. I think it is clear that FP posted this article because he thinks that this is NO-NONSENSE...Am I right FP? The sender may have to opted send this to FP because he trusts FP and maybe he wants to send message to the readers as well. I do not know the sender of this post but I just would like to thank FP for publishing stories like this. It means that he certainly can be trusted on matters other than fashion. This makes me want to visit his blog more. More power to you! :)))

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  45. something similar happened to me in a cafe in GB that sounds like a famous brand of flipflops. i sat down and kept on waving at waiters and i was like invisible to all of them. basically, waiters were running around serving foreigners while tables where filipinos were seated got the 3rd world treatment. I stayed there waiting to be waited for like 30 mins. I literally shouted at one waiter that I want to talk to the manager. The manager came and i told him in a manner that everybody could hear: "DO I NEED TO BE A FOREIGNER TO BE SERVED HERE?" Manager apologized but I still left ... together with two other tables of pinoys waiting to be served ... the thing is, sometimes you have to put your message across, loud & clear, so that you wont be step on.

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  46. Really? Appearance-based discrimination? Can it be plain and simple poor customer service?

    In an increasingly p.c. society, when we feel offended we easily blame it on discrimination -- age, sex, gender, appearance, etc., when it could be as simple as the other party may have not been properly trained, he did not know better or is plain stupid?

    Stop playing the victim and know your rights (including the time and place to fight for them)!

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  47. i have feeling the you might either break the glass while playing with it or your really planning to steal it .

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  48. "what does this have to do with fashion? "

    ano ka ba FASHIONPULIS nga eh! pulis! pulis!

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  49. oh i remember, me and my cousin went to moa, tapos i approached a stall which sells beauty products from egypt, mostly clay masks,and this witch looking saleslady did not even bother entertaining me like introducing their products, convincing me to buy, tapos when this old lady na nakaporma, carrying her purse na dumaan lang, nilapitan talaga at todo intro nung binibenta niya, to think di naman bibili nung babae. i was offended talaga, potential buyer pa naman ako.

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  50. dapat meron ng special page ang site ni FP na ~~ "ISUMBONG MO kay FP!" =) LOL

    Kse naman, we can't help if people want to make sumbong here. Most of their reklamo posted here kse nasusulusyonan.

    FP for the WIN!

    ~KoreanNetDiva

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  51. I would have called the manager and told everyone I know about what the waiter said. Also, I would have demanded retribution from the waiter himself plus an apology. YOU are the customer and the waiter's job was to entertain you. I would have sneered and looked down at him, since, of course, he should know his place and that he should never say those remarks to anyone, much less a paying customer.

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  52. before reporting this incident to FP, you should have first settled the score with the manager... if you were treated with a cold shoulder by the establishment, then it you can go the FP to report the treatment gave you and your group... I understand what the waiter had done because if the beakers would break or would be lost, then it will be his responsibility and most likely be deducted from his pay...the waiter may not be intending to shame you and your group... next time please settle with the establishment than go emoting about appearance-based discrimination...

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  53. Shit happens. Deal with it. Don't whine here.

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  54. I work in Eastwood City and so far nothing discriminatory happened naman to me and my officemates/friends except that "D" pugad baboy a few years forgot our orders but that's just all behind me now. Can you please name that Cafe? Baka naman kasi rude lang yung waiter at walang breeding. You can ESCALATE things like that to his manager naman.

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  55. remember....there's always 2 sides of the story. ang narinig lang natin ung nagco-complain...before we judge or banatan ung waiter, let's try to hear the other side, para fair diba?

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  56. Let it go! First, you didn't even open your mouth and speak your mind.. Dito ka pa nag complain and not sa manager or waiter.what a wus!!!!! When you think something wrong or discriminatory is being done to you..speak up don't just shut up go home and complain online!

    Violetta

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  57. ang akin lang, the waiter could've put it nicely, like
    "sir, ok na po ba"
    then clear out the beakers.

    wala lang.

    medyo naiintindihan ko rin yung sender, kasi kung sakin nangyari to di ko alam gagawin ko, baka umalis na lang ako bigla. -nonconfrontational person here-

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  58. what made you think that the waiter acted based on your appearance?
    what do you mean by appearance? eastwood lang yan noh! not everyone there looks like they jumped out of a fashion magazine.

    and besides, you can look daggy but still command attention with poise and grace. if you feel you are ugly enough, bawiin mo sa aura!

    also, you could have posted the incident with a resolution of what you did after the incident. eh, nagreklamo ka lang. this is an easy issue to handle. dumbass!

    madame aura

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  59. i agree with most commenters here that the letter sender should have taken action right then & there. pinoys seem to be non-confrontational & always end up looking like wimps which really infuriates me. i have come to the aid of people that cannot seem to assert themselves in situations where they are "inaapi" already by salespeople & the like. i agree with ANON aug4 3:51pm, you shouldn't allow yourself to be "stepped on". don't be wimps, assert yourselves!
    regarding the waiter, he should be reprimanded and taught better customer relations. there is no excuse for how rudely & poorly he handled the situation. most professionals, doctors for example, don't have great bedside manners either, so these people of service should be trained properly & extensively. they can make or break your establishment because they deal directly with the customers.
    ------------------------------------------------
    Anonymous said...
    i have feeling the you might either break the glass while playing with it or your really planning to steal it .

    August 4, 2011 4:22 PM
    ------------------------------------------------
    --napaka-judgemental mo naman Anon aug 4 4:22pm. even if we haven't heard the other side of the story, who are you to judge??

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  60. kaya sumulat si reader para i-warn tayo about the place. yung iba naman dito, ang kikitid ng utak. pinagtutulungan pa si letter sender.

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  61. If you feel like violated, ask for a supervisor/manager. You have every right to complain. You should know that because you either have background as a customer service rep, or you actually worked in a call center with accounts that deal with customer service.

    That simple gesture would've resulted a more convenient solution to both parties, which clearly did not happen since you haven't approached the necessary authorities. What you did was write your ass off in here. Let me tell you something hun, you do not voice out your rumblings to people and expect a multitude of apathy. That's not the rule in customer service. If you want that waiter to get fired or that place to shut down, you need actions. Now would you dare do that?

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  62. I also experienced something similar. I was out shopping in my house clothes...shorts and sardine brand give away shirt. In a popular clothing shop in SM called "B" - nobody even bothered to help me out and at that time I was the lone customer. The staff were so indifferent. Dismayed I moved to the next shop...equally popular "P&P" the staff were very nice, encouraged me to try on clothes. I ended up buying 4 blouses. They placed some of my purchases in this round cute cardboard made bag... Maybe just to salve my hurt ego.. I walked past "B" at a leisurely pace swinging my purchases making sure they see it! huh!

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