Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Poll: Is Tintin Bersola Guilty of the Criticisms for her Gay article?
Image courtesy of www. interaksiyon.com
Parenting advocate Tintin Bersola-Babao's article titled, "Being Gay" had stirred negative and violent reactions from netizens, most notably from the huge gay community. The article which came out yesterday on The Philippine Star was labeled as hypocrite, insensitive, baseless, damaging, homophobic, irresponsible. Getting the heat from all the backlash and flak, Ms. Babao was forced to issue a public apology via twitter to soften the blow to those she may have offended. She also expressed the same apology in behalf of her resource person, psychologist Dr. Camille Garcia, who was similarly bashed for her views.
What could have triggered such uproar? Here is the controversial article in question - printed in its entirety. Please read carefully, and let us know what you think.
Being Gay
In the daily morning show, Good Morning Club, which I co-host daily on TV5, we recently discussed an interesting topic: What should a parent do if the child shows early signs of being gay?
It was a sensitive topic handled with care. My co-hosts Edu Manzano, Amy Perez, Chiqui Roa-Puno and I shared the same view: That gayness is not a plague. That if one of our sons turns out to be gay, we were unanimous in saying that “We shall accept and love our sons just the same, just as much.”
For this article, I sought the expertise of family counselor and Trio Tagapayo of Amy’s Face to Face, noted psychologist Dr. Camille Garcia, who answered the frequently asked questions (FAQs).
What are the early signs? I’ve read that when a two- or three-year-old plays with girl’s toys, that doesn’t necessarily mean he is gay since that is just the “curiosity phase.” Is this true? At what age will the signs of true “gayness” come out?
Dr. Camille: “Others may say that doing something effeminate is already a sign of gayness like playing with female toys, being effeminate in some ways, etc. Remember the child, at this age, does not know the girl-boy gender yet. It’s up to the parents to make the child be aware of his/her gender: 'Ikaw ay babae, siya ay lalaki.’
“True gayness comes out at pubertal stage. (It is when the child desires or has a crush on the same sex.) What is wrong with some parents is encouraging the behavior. It’s like when a parent says, 'Kung ano ang binigay sa amin ng Diyos tatanggapin namin.’
“Remember ang binigay ng Diyos na anak is a girl or boy. A six-year-old can already identify his/her gender. Good parenting structures the right role of a person.
“What creates the reinforcement of the said behavior is when parents allow the thinking (e.g., ‘Sige anak, ok naman na maging bakla ka, tatanggapin ka namin.’)”
Should parents be alarmed and arrest the situation? Or encourage it?
Dr. Camille: “Arrest the situation, ’yun ang tama. But most parents encourage the situation. Tatanggapin agad. Let’s be moral in making the child understand the situation, di ba yun ang dapat. We tell our child, ‘Anak, mali ito.’”
How should the parents address this? Some parents resort to threat and extreme military-style punishment. Some parents go to great lengths to explain to the child the consequences of being gay, so that the child can think, then make a choice.
Dr. Camille: “Threat and punishment encourage the child more to do things wrongly, because you are shutting off the situation. Make sure you discuss with your child openly. ‘Alam mo anak, hindi namin gusto yung ginugusto mo.’
“Explain that he is a boy and therefore, as boys, they grow up as men and their partners are women. ‘Hindi kasi tama ang makasama sa buhay at magpapamilya ay parehas na lalaki. Kung ayaw mo itama ang ginugusto mo, hindi namin matatanggap yun.’
“Things can be discussed fully. At least you have attempted to talk it out with your child, explaining the moral and complex implication of what he likes. Remember you can have effeminate ways, but you never desire men. Yun yung emphasis ng pagtuturo sa bata. After pubertal stage, it’s a different story.”
Why is being gay still considered a shame for conservative families, even now that we are living in modern times that gays are accepted in our society? Gays (both male and female) are contributing well to our society, in different professional fields.
Dr. Camille: “Most families still cannot accept the fact that something went wrong with their parenting. They feel that something is not right — moral issues are always part of the issues, especially to the Christian and close family ties. “Traditions and culture as well are still part of the family structure that greatly influences their views regarding homosexuality.
“Remember, since child rearing and proper parenting are part of one’s holistic disposition, the lifestyle and preference he will choose is considered to be part of what a parent has nurtured and instilled in him.”
Is being gay really a lifestyle choice? Or genetically influenced?
Dr. Camille: “The genetic predisposition is there but if from the start it is corrected, maiaayos. Remember, genetic predisposition. Hindi minana, na at the start bakla siya. Ipinanganak siyang lalaki o babae. Ikaw na magulang ang mag aayos at magtuturo. Thus, the lifestyle and preference become prevalent rather than the genetic factors. This is the most Christian and appropriate explanation I can give.”
I thank Dr. Camille for her expertise and for shedding light on this sensitive topic.
As a mom who has a three-year-old son named Nio, my personal take on the matter is this: Nio, when curious, plays with his big sister’s toys. But we always point it out to him that those are toys for girls, and these are toys for boys. We compare toys so that he will understand.
Before he turned three, he was fully aware and could already distinguish the girls’ toys from the boys’ toys. We realized that playing with his big sister’s toys is his loving way of bonding and playing with his Ate Antonia. When big sister is not around, Nio doesn’t touch the girly toys.
Apart from toys, he chooses what clothes and shoes to wear, and his choices are very masculine. I think the presence of a dominant male figure in our home, that is Julius my husband, is a great factor why Nio is very much male. They play rough games such as boxing, kiddie baseball, sword fights, wrestling and the like. I think that activities such as these will help establish the child’s gender role.
I am simply talking from experience, having a young son, a three-year-old.
Now, if you ask me — what if my son grows up to be gay? I will not encourage. But will I accept? A mother will always accept her child. A mom may not agree with all of her child’s choices or preferences, but in the end, being a kind human being is more important than what your gender is.
We do our best as parents. We guide our children based on societal norms while balancing what is personally and morally acceptable to our own families. But once they are adults and choose to live life a certain way, it is their choice, and along with it, the consequences.
A parent must be there to support and love their children all the way, no matter what. We all deserve to be happy and free.
We are all children of God, and in the end, regardless of gender, it is God who will judge us.
Source: Philstar.com
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Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Insufficient Building Fund
Image courtesy of www.oceanviewbaptistchurch.com
Showbiz industry players know only too well that the entertainment industry is not and will never be a stable source of income. Hence smart players often think forward and try at best to save money as much as they can -- while they can. You know, making hay while the sun shines.
Despite the lure of huge earnings of its stars, unknown to most, showbiz is a very unpredictable and erratic industry. Verbal agreements are never to be relied upon, even as half-true. When you are luckily contracted as a star of a film outfit, do not rejoice just yet, for it is not a surefire guarantee that a project is already in the offing. Believe only when you are already out there shooting – sounds funny but true. It is a fact – anything and everything happens in this industry that has no set rules and/or standards.
Many are blinded and overwhelmed by stardom and the fame and fortune that go with it. Not realizing that it's just the surface that they're seeing. Showbiz starters are often shocked to see the reality behind the glitz and glamor. Stars have to work excruciatingly long hours even under severe weather conditions. The loss of privacy and family time, the need to follow the most painful of conditions set by one’s management or outfit are only a few of the drawback one has to endure if one really wants to make it big in the industry. In simple terms, showbiz is not a bed of roses, and definitely will never be a walk in the park. Which is why when you have projects, learn not to squander, think of the rainy days ahead. Save save save – that will be your best weapon.
Actress Endorser AE is in a financial quandary. She has a big house being built in a prime community in the Metro – yet this early, AE’s suppliers are complaining about not being paid as agreed in their contract. These suppliers do not exactly know the reason why AE is short of funds. It had not been that way when they first started with her on the project. All they want now is to get paid soon to avoid further complications that may result in the process.
Is AE not forward-thinking and naïve enough to mount such a big undertaking as having a mansion built without having sufficient cash-flow for it? Or as some kibitzers would say, was her financial handicap caused by the untimely demise of a project gone wrong? Indeed, it pays to be a long range planner, you think?
Moral Lesson: Learn not to put all your eggs in one basket.
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Poll: What Can You Say About Renaldo Balkman Strangling Teammate Arwind Santos?
Image courtesy of www.theultimatefan.com
Monday, March 11, 2013
Attraction or Retaliation
(Illustration by Bonn Erasmo)
Recently there were sightings of OA lurking somewhere within the area where pretty actor PA resides. Witnesses in the vicinity WV say they started seeing OA recently and so far, she had been spotted there for at least three consecutive days already. Whatever it is in OA’s mind is quite baffling, to say the least. Why baffling? WV said they would see her just sitting alone in her car parked at least a few meters away from PA’s vicinity. She would not get off the car at all. Then she would only leave when she sees PA leaves in the morning.
WV say that it’s hard to say if what OA exhibits is some kind of a fatal attraction towards PA. Given her age, her personality, and the kind of experience she had with PA, stalking him may or may not be something she would be capable of.
For some people who know her, OA is an unpredictable lot – as unpredictable as the weather brought by climate change. Sudden outbursts are nothing new to her as proved by the many situations she got embroiled in in the past. Which was why OA’s latest, the one with PA, was what made the network think tanks reconsider their plans.
And now that there had been numerous sightings of her stalking PA, this might prove another difficult task to hurdle and disprove for her overworked handlers.
Question is, "What is OA really after PA? Is it attraction or retaliation?
Let no one who loves be called unhappy. Even love unreturned has its rainbow. ~ James Matthew Barrie
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Sunday, March 10, 2013
His Big Clamor
Image courtesy of www.amazon.com
Singer and Actor SA is a network's NE homegrown talent. SA’s singing career began years ago when he joined NE’s reality singing contest. It was while under the stewardship of NE that SA’s career bloomed in no time and his name reached star status among his many talented colleagues.
SA is a very ambitious lot, never resting on his laurels, quite unstoppable in his passionate pursuits . Year after year, he offered something new and different - - and exceled at it. His was an upward trajectory and it was a foregone conclusion that he would make it big sooner than expected – and he did just that. Thus, SA became one of NE’s bankable talents.
There are also some talented stars who have various talents, but end up spreading themselves too thinly – as in jack of all trades, master of none. But to his credit, SA was able to prove himself otherwise. Thanks to the kind of nurturing and able handling he got from NE.
But presently, talks are ripe that after years of being under NE's wing, SA is not bent on renewing his contract anymore, and will fly to NE’s rival camp RC. According to a source, SA clamored for more opportunities and no-nonsense projects and expressed this desire to NE. But SA got a thumbs down - having its hands full, NE could only do so much.
Some observers think that SA’s actions are bordering on conceit aka over-appreciation of oneself. Some say he feels so burnout being with NE for so long, sometimes even thinking that he might be falling form NE's grace amidst the crowd of talents that it is handling. But some insiders believe that it might also be due to SA's feeling of having to endure the limited breaks from NE when the grass he was promised in RC is much greener.
Has SA's fame gotten toxic? Or is it an urgent career move? Professional growth?
“I am focused on the work. I am constantly creating. I am a busy girl. I live and breathe my work. I love what I do. I believe in the message. There's no stopping. I didn't create the fame, the fame created me.”- Lady Gaga
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Follow @FashionPulis on Twitter for the latest update. Please continue to send your juicy stories to michaelsylim@gmail.com. Thank you very much for loving Fashion PULIS!
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Like or Dislike: Star Magic Circle 2013 Talents
Alex Diaz, 17
Ingrid dela Paz, 18
Jerome Ponce, 17
Jane Oineza, 16
Jon Lucas, 17
Janella Salvador, 14
Julian Estrada, 17
Julia Barretto, 15
Khalil Ramos, 16
Liza Soberano, 15
Kit Thompson, 16
Michelle Vito, 15
Source: The Ultimate Fan
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Saturday, March 9, 2013
Flowing By The Sunset
Image courtesy of www.angelfire.com
Just as controversial actress CA's life got magnified and talked about online for several months, the tenor has now suddenly shifted to mute -- so intriguingly quiet. Yes, the deafening silence has been keeping insiders busy speculating.
CA has been besieged with problems of volcanic proportions for many months now - with career and family weighing most heavily on her shoulders. According to the grapevine, all is not well in the homefront of this once iconic actress. CA's marital bliss had been less than blessed for some time. A family member is getting unfavorable treatment. Her own career has hit rock bottom, the lowest it had ever been.
For all the bumps that her career is going through, CA is not used to being treated shabbily by anyone, let alone by her bosses NB. Heard that NB had given CA a dressing down - a mouthful for the fate that befell her project PR that the company CO had heavily invested on. The very dismal showing of PR that ran for many months cost a hefty fortune for the CO. NB felt that CA had huge shortcomings why PR suffered the way it did. Allegedly, CA reneged on her responsibility and did not abide by the provisions of her contract - she should have raised the bar higher - but did not. She was flatly told, " You failed us big time."
Strong words, big blow to her even bigger ego.
For such a major neglect on her part, CA did not even try to make amends. What made matters worse was that she was not at all apologetic -- something that turned off NB completely. Those in the know concluded that CA is still in big denial about her real status in the business, and that's not hard to fathom given her once unique position in the industry.
Now there are whispers going around that CA has been sending feelers to FA "former allies." But this we learned -- true or not -- no one from FA is willing to bite.
"Everyone has a boatload of fans who will praise her/his mediocrity. Don't seek fans, seek critics." - David du Chemin
Please abide by the GUIDELINES in writing comments if you want them to be posted. Initials and comments that are too explicit will not be accepted.
Follow @FashionPulis on Twitter for the latest update. Please continue to send your juicy stories to michaelsylim@gmail.com. Thank you very much for loving Fashion PULIS!
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