Thursday, May 3, 2012
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Lousy Act
Image courtesy of www.lousy.net
Did this dramatic actress (DA) and her camp pull a fast one on the networks and the public? Without any prior feelers, a story was fed to the media that DA had a meeting with the big bosses of her former network. In fact, the story was quite specific about the floor of the meeting. Upon hearing and reading this news, some already speculated that she was coming back, while others were quite surprised at the said story.
A day later, the network issued a press statement that denied such a meeting took place. Then, DA denied that she was ever at the premises of the network, much more to have been in a meeting there. The puzzle of why this piece of news about DA surfaced was solved a couple of days ago. DA just renewed her contract both with the tv station and the movie outfit of her current network. In short, the rumor was merely a way to draw some clout so her current network will increase its offer.
Why did the camp of DA bother to resort to such a cheap gimmick? Did DA feel that she needed to get a message across to her current station, which apparently was not letting her go? At any rate, they were lucky that this lousy act did not generate negative publicity for DA.
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Letter to Miriam Quiambao
Image courtesy of www.stockphoto.com
Dear Miriam,
Congratulations on standing up for the truth given by God in the Bible! Literally interpreting the Bible is what we should really do. The word of God is the word of God. Those who believe in God shouldn't doubt the Bible: each word in the Bible, each punctuation mark, each syllable was written by the owner and creator of the universe, period. I love your zealous and unwavering faith that everything that the Bible says is true and that we should follow it.
I know that we should take the Bible as it is. There's no doubt that God forbids cross-dressing; Deuteronomy 22:5 says that. Leviticus 18:22 implies that homosexuality is an abomination to God's eyes as well. But I'm having some problems with other verses in the Bible. Please help me with what to do about them because, just like you, I want to live my life in accordance with the word of God.
1. According to Genesis, God only created men and women. Nothing else, no one in between. Just either men or women. Now, Genesis 1:5 says that God created only evening and morning. There was no mention about afternoon, dusk, dawn, midnight, the blue hour, etc. As a literal follower of the Bible, how should I regard these "other" parts of the day? To borrow your own words, are they the "lies of the devil?" Why do we have these abominations? Is God testing my faith?
2. I'm so confused about what to wear now, Miriam. I feel that I'm such an abomination in the eyes of God. You know why? Detueronomy 22:11. God clearly and literally forbids wearing clothing made of fabric that are combined together, such as wool and linen woven together. I have lots of clothes made of combined fabric. What should I do with them? Should I change my wardrobe and burn all these clothes, just like how God burned Sodom and Gomorrah? Miriam, please promise us, in the name of the Truth contained in the Bible, that you will never ever wear such clothes! Moreover, Deuteronomy 22:12 says that we should place tassels on the four corners of the cloaks we wear. Why didn't your evening gown during the Ms. Universe pageant in 1999 have any tassels? Was this a flaw in the design? Or was the gown designed by the devil? Oh my God, Miriam, please burn that gown now, as that is not something God wants you to wear! Save your soul, sister!
3. I'm so disturbed by how marriage laws in our country work, Miriam. Clearly, this country will rot in hell. Why? It is not following Deuteronomy 22:13-20. We should include virginity tests for women before they get married. And if it's proven that these women are not virgins, we should stone them to death just like how Deuteronomy 22:21 recommends! Miriam, please tell me you were a virgin when you married your husband!
4. I want to share the truth of the Bible to my neighbor, Miriam. Here's the case: The woman's husband died recently; and they have no children. Deuteronomy 25:5 clearly says that in situations like this, the woman is only allowed to marry her brother-in-law. They are not following this. Should I go to them and share to them this Universal Truth so that they can follow what the Lord wants?
5. Miriam, I wonder how we can implement Deuteronomy 25:13. It says that we shouldn't have two different weights in our bags. Can you share to me the weights of the contents of your bag?
6. Leviticus 1:14-17 says that the smell of burning dove and pigeon is an aroma pleasing to the Lord. I tried to burn doves and pigeons yesterday as part of my daily routine in pleasing God but my neighbor stopped me. He said this is cruelty to animals. Can you help me pray over my neighbor's soul so he can finally see the Truth?
7. I'm very troubled by the presence of Lydia's Lechon in our neighborhood. Leviticus 3:17 clearly says that we must not eat any fat. Can you support my petition against Lydia's Lechon?
8. Why do people go to dermatologists, Miriam? Isn't this a clear violation of the word of God? Leviticus 13:2 is clear: When it comes to skin disease we must go to a priest, not a dermatologist.
9. One of my neighbors is poor. I advised the father of the household to sell one of his daughters as a slave so they can have money. He told me that I was insane. I told them God clearly allows this in Exodus 21:7. How much do you think he should sell his daughter for?
10. Miriam, why do people work on the Sabbath day? Exodus 35:2 clearly forbids this. Should we start putting them to death as the Bible recommends?
I know that we should take the Bible as it is. There's no doubt that God forbids cross-dressing; Deuteronomy 22:5 says that. Leviticus 18:22 implies that homosexuality is an abomination to God's eyes as well. But I'm having some problems with other verses in the Bible. Please help me with what to do about them because, just like you, I want to live my life in accordance with the word of God.
1. According to Genesis, God only created men and women. Nothing else, no one in between. Just either men or women. Now, Genesis 1:5 says that God created only evening and morning. There was no mention about afternoon, dusk, dawn, midnight, the blue hour, etc. As a literal follower of the Bible, how should I regard these "other" parts of the day? To borrow your own words, are they the "lies of the devil?" Why do we have these abominations? Is God testing my faith?
2. I'm so confused about what to wear now, Miriam. I feel that I'm such an abomination in the eyes of God. You know why? Detueronomy 22:11. God clearly and literally forbids wearing clothing made of fabric that are combined together, such as wool and linen woven together. I have lots of clothes made of combined fabric. What should I do with them? Should I change my wardrobe and burn all these clothes, just like how God burned Sodom and Gomorrah? Miriam, please promise us, in the name of the Truth contained in the Bible, that you will never ever wear such clothes! Moreover, Deuteronomy 22:12 says that we should place tassels on the four corners of the cloaks we wear. Why didn't your evening gown during the Ms. Universe pageant in 1999 have any tassels? Was this a flaw in the design? Or was the gown designed by the devil? Oh my God, Miriam, please burn that gown now, as that is not something God wants you to wear! Save your soul, sister!
3. I'm so disturbed by how marriage laws in our country work, Miriam. Clearly, this country will rot in hell. Why? It is not following Deuteronomy 22:13-20. We should include virginity tests for women before they get married. And if it's proven that these women are not virgins, we should stone them to death just like how Deuteronomy 22:21 recommends! Miriam, please tell me you were a virgin when you married your husband!
4. I want to share the truth of the Bible to my neighbor, Miriam. Here's the case: The woman's husband died recently; and they have no children. Deuteronomy 25:5 clearly says that in situations like this, the woman is only allowed to marry her brother-in-law. They are not following this. Should I go to them and share to them this Universal Truth so that they can follow what the Lord wants?
5. Miriam, I wonder how we can implement Deuteronomy 25:13. It says that we shouldn't have two different weights in our bags. Can you share to me the weights of the contents of your bag?
6. Leviticus 1:14-17 says that the smell of burning dove and pigeon is an aroma pleasing to the Lord. I tried to burn doves and pigeons yesterday as part of my daily routine in pleasing God but my neighbor stopped me. He said this is cruelty to animals. Can you help me pray over my neighbor's soul so he can finally see the Truth?
7. I'm very troubled by the presence of Lydia's Lechon in our neighborhood. Leviticus 3:17 clearly says that we must not eat any fat. Can you support my petition against Lydia's Lechon?
8. Why do people go to dermatologists, Miriam? Isn't this a clear violation of the word of God? Leviticus 13:2 is clear: When it comes to skin disease we must go to a priest, not a dermatologist.
9. One of my neighbors is poor. I advised the father of the household to sell one of his daughters as a slave so they can have money. He told me that I was insane. I told them God clearly allows this in Exodus 21:7. How much do you think he should sell his daughter for?
10. Miriam, why do people work on the Sabbath day? Exodus 35:2 clearly forbids this. Should we start putting them to death as the Bible recommends?
11. A lot of Filipinas work as domestic helpers in other countries. Most of them are beaten by their employers. Should we condemn their employers or should we just allow them to be beaten up as long as they can get up after a day or two, as what Exodus 21:20-21 wants us to do? It does say, “If a man beats his male or female slave with a rod and the slave dies as a direct result, he must be punished, but he is not to be punished if the slave gets up after a day or two, since the slave is his property."
A friend of mine told me that these words should not be taken out of context. I told him, No! These words are the words of God and they apply in every context, at all times, everywhere and every time, as God's words are eternal. Deuteronomy 26:16 is clear about this: "The Lord your God commands you this day to follow these decrees and laws; carefully observe them with all your heart and with all your soul." When I told him about that, he told me that God is shit. Oh dear, that comment ended our friendship. And I'm now actually planning the time and place where our entire barangay can stone him to death as recommended by Leviticus 24:16. Would you like to join us in fulfilling what the Lord our God wants us to do? Where can I send the invitation?
I'm looking forward to hear from you.
Let's defend every word in the Bible!
Your number 1 fan,
Melody (An adaptation of the "Dear Dr. Laura Schlesinger" letter)
A friend of mine told me that these words should not be taken out of context. I told him, No! These words are the words of God and they apply in every context, at all times, everywhere and every time, as God's words are eternal. Deuteronomy 26:16 is clear about this: "The Lord your God commands you this day to follow these decrees and laws; carefully observe them with all your heart and with all your soul." When I told him about that, he told me that God is shit. Oh dear, that comment ended our friendship. And I'm now actually planning the time and place where our entire barangay can stone him to death as recommended by Leviticus 24:16. Would you like to join us in fulfilling what the Lord our God wants us to do? Where can I send the invitation?
I'm looking forward to hear from you.
Let's defend every word in the Bible!
Your number 1 fan,
Melody (An adaptation of the "Dear Dr. Laura Schlesinger" letter)
Source: Facebook
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Distracting the Misery
Image courtesy of www.himynameisjose.com
Recently, model actor (MA) was spotted in a vacation island south of Manila. His good looks definitely attracted the attention of the other vacationers. A semi-retired actress dancer (AD), who happened to be there as well, did not waste time in taking advantage of the newly single MA.
MA could still be nursing his broken feelings because he seemed very disappointed that his relationship with privileged actress (PA) ended. Other than cultural and financial differences, a family member of PA does not like MA. PA was probably keeping true to her promise that she will now follow the advice of her parents in her relationships.
For almost five days, AD kept flirting with MA. She kept following him and making sure she was around where he was. MA seemed flattered by the attention given by AD and the other girls who would say “Hi!” to him. In short, MA enjoyed his celebrity status while on the island. As to whether AD succeeded in getting more than MA’s attention, your guess is as good as mine.
Follow micsylim on Twitter for the latest update. Please continue to send your juicy stories to michaelsylim@gmail.com. Thank you very much for loving Fashion PULIS.
Monday, April 30, 2012
The Pushy Girlfriend vs the Daring Wife
Fashion PULIS' 1st Article in Manila Bulletin, April 29, 2011
Image courtesy of www.jammcoaching.com
One time, the wife (W) of S got worried because he was not answering her calls nor was he replying to text messages. Still, W burned the lines calling. Finally, a woman answered the phone and in an irritated manner said, “Will you stop calling! We’re having s-x!” Shocked, the very angry W drove to S’s condo. There she saw FM, grabbed her hair and dragged her out of the room towards the fire exit. The scandal was quite big and even reached the barangay. FM filed charges for physical injuries. But W was not to be outdone as she did a "tell all" to the police. Hence the charges filed by FM did not prosper. Still, that was not the end of it all. W called S’s father and reported everything. Poor S, he got a beating that he deserved.
Today, FM is still controversial in her love interests but she is not as visible on TV. S has focused his sights on a political career and has left showbiz for the meantime. As for his marriage, it’s over.
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Queen and Jane of All Trades
Image courtesy of www.kentunes.com
Talks have it that BS had long been separated from her husband with whom she has three kids. She was previously rumored to have an affair with an ex-mayor/actor, which they both denied. BS claimed it was just part of the work as photographer for his political campaign.
The latest buzz is that BS is now the latest girl of a big showbiz honcho widely known for being a womanizer. They are regularly seen in public, and were recently sighted shopping together in an A-list malls with her kids.
Can you identify who BS is? How about the top honcho? Please abide by the RULES in writing comments if you want me to post them. Initials and comments that are too explicit will not be accepted.
Follow micsylim on Twitter for the latest update. Please continue to send your juicy stories to michaelsylim@gmail.com. Thank you very much for loving Fashion PULIS.
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